Saturday, September 19, 2009

How to own a BMW

(Pic stolen from

– Look as much as possible like David Niven. (At least the moustache.)
– Insist on watching if a mechanic has to work on the bike.
– Buy a bottle of BMW touch-up paint with the new bike.
– Wear a white dust coat with the BMW logo over the pocket when performing even minor maintenance on the machine.
– Learn how to intimidate parts personnel.
– Drink only Heineken’s or Beck’s out of a ceramic stein.
– Be on a first-name basis with someone of authority at Butler and Smith.
– Never, never street race. You may, on occasion, put the pass on an unbeliever by employing the maneuver Farina used on Nuvolari at Monte Carlo in 1935, but only if you can do it well.
– Constantly discuss the old Earles-type front forks in the most intimate of terms.
– Never blip the throttle at stoplights.
– Redlining the engine is prohibited in any case.
– Annoy your dealer with complaints of obscure sounds or sensations that only you perceive.
– Regale captive parts counter people with funny stories about your old RAF squadron leader. (Ethiopian military police are also acceptable.)
– Be smug – remember, you have demonstrated the fact that you were obviously born to a higher station in life by owning the pride of the Bavarian Motor Works.

Quote from Big Bike magazine, October 1977.

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